THE SMOKE SIGNAL

SEATTLE'S HIGHEST RATED

DESCRIPTION: Small, loyal, easily stolen. Known to approach everyone except its owner. Has severe attachment issues.

LAST SEEN: In your hand, approximately 30 seconds ago. Current location unknown.

KNOWN BEHAVIOR: Disappears when needed most. Frequently spotted with people who claimed they would "just borrow it for a second."

AUTHORITIES SAY: Stop losing your essentials. Keep everything in one place.

"We can't bring it back, but we can help you keep track of what matters."